


Grocery Money

by ChokolatteJedi



Series: x6325 [2]
Category: Chuck (TV), White Collar (TV 2009)
Genre: Budgets and Budgeting, Consequences, Episode: s01e04 Flip of the Coin, Gen, Neal Caffrey & Bryce Larkin Are Twins, Phone Calls & Telephones, Plothole Fill, Protective Bryce, Scolding, Twins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-15
Updated: 2010-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:09:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28906872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChokolatteJedi/pseuds/ChokolatteJedi
Summary: Peter's mysterious boss drives home a few hard truths
Series: x6325 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2119584
Kudos: 17





	Grocery Money

Peter was in the middle of a case, so when his phone rang he didn't expect the voice on the other end of the line. "Burke! I have a question about your expenses," the man said. His voice was familiar, but it wasn't until Peter glanced at the caller ID and saw his extension number — x6325 — that he placed it. That number belonged to the man who had chewed him out in the past about Neal's involvement in cases.

"Absolutely, Sir. What would you like to know?" Peter said carefully. He had no doubts that this man rated a Sir and obedience from him.

"The numbers aren't adding up as I would expect, Burke. Are you feeding him on your own dime? That's not necessary."

Peter looked around his desk for inspiration. Was this about John somehow? "Uh… I'm not— I'm not sure exactly—"

"Caffrey!" he interrupted. "How are you paying for his food?"

"I— I'm not, Sir." Peter frowned, trying to figure out what he was missing. "He's bought dinner while undercover once or twice, and he gets a sandwich like everyone when we're all in the van. I made sure to document all of the receipts on those days…"

"I see," said the man in a particularly chilly tone — and Peter really needed a better name for him, since now did not seem like a good time to ask. Maybe the Ultra-Boss? Since he appeared to at least be Peter's Boss's boss's boss?

"Burke, how much do you spend on groceries a month?" The Ultra-Boss asked.

It wasn't entirely a non-sequitur, but Peter was having trouble making the exact connection. "About a thousand dollars, I believe," he said, thinking about their budget.

"That's for two, so figure $450, $500 for one, yes?"

"Yesir."

"Good; we agree. Now, on his first day, you told Caffrey that it cost $700 a month to house him in prison and so that was his budget on the outside. You also put him in a motel that cost $19.99 a night. What does $19.99 times 31 come to, Burke?"

"$619.69, Sir," Peter said quickly. He was good at math, even though he still wasn't following the thought process.

"Indeed, meaning there would be roughly $80 left for the month — $100 on thirty-day ones. However, you slightly mislead Caffrey — unintentionally, I'm sure. In prison, because the infrastructure is already built, that money largely goes to utilities and food — at bulk rates, of course. It costs $700 a month in prison to _feed_ Caffrey. You should have told him that the money was for room _and_ board, but you only said 'room'."

Peter finally figured out the point, his mind helpfully flashing back to that conversation with Neal _"It cost $700 a month to house you on the inside, so that's what it costs here. For the money, this is as good as it gets." _Neal had even asked him about clothing at the time, and Peter had blown him off, sending him to a thrift store with— actually, he didn't even know how much money Neal had had on him when he was released from prison, but it couldn't have been much. Certainly not enough to also feed him for the month. Neal had lucked out that his apartment at June's came with a wardrobe, and apparently breakfast, but even with a third of his meals taken care of, eighty dollars — or even a hundred — was not going to stretch enough to provide three hundred dollars worth of food for lunch and dinner every day.__

__The Ultra-Boss continued, apparently unaware of Peter's thoughts, "When Caffrey submitted his lease agreement with Mrs. Ellington, it shows that she is charging him the full 700 for his rent. I presume, from her address, that she is not _over_ charging him, which we could fight. As we are paying that money directly to her, there is no leftover money in the debit account set up for Caffrey. His withdrawal statements show that he used all of his initial $80 in the first two weeks. As no new money was put into his account last week with the new month, I am calling to ask how you are supplementing his food budget, since you have not submitted any receipts for such."_ _

__With a sigh, Peter gave in to the urge to prop his elbow on his desk and cradle his head in his hand. "With all honesty, Sir, I had not made that connection myself. Other than a handful of meals where Neal was undercover, or on duty in the van, I have not fed him, nor have I supplemented his food budget," he admitted._ _

__"I see." The icy tone was back. "Has Caffrey submitted any receipts? Groceries, meals, coffee runs?"_ _

__Peter bit back a groan. They'd sent Neal out for coffee several times. He'd even done it this morning on the case, bringing in a whole office's worth to the studio. Generally speaking, everyone took the coffee run once a week or so, except the interns, who were given cash to cover it. There was usually a bit of hazing for probies, sending them out more than usual, and Neal had gone through that too. How much of his meager $80 had been blown on coffee for the office those first two weeks? That easily could have sapped his entire budget! Just coffee for himself, Jones, Cruz, and Neal was almost $15!_ _

__"He has not submitted any receipts, Sir," Peter admitted._ _

__"Are you aware of the primary reasons for recidivism, Burke?"_ _

__"Aside from addiction, there's lack of training or education, lack of opportunities, hiring bias because of criminal history, peer pressure, and medical or mental disorders," Peter easily reeled off the list he had learned at Quantico._ _

__"And where do you think 'not having any grocery money in the most expensive city in the country' falls on that list, Burke?" came the snide reply. "Let alone travel money. I'm assuming that Caffrey was also not given subway or cab fare? Is he expected to walk to and from work? His original lodging was even further from the office than Mrs. Ellington's is. Hospital visits or even over the counter medication? Is he not allowed to get sick for the next four years?"_ _

__"I understand that he's been wearing his own clothes when we send him undercover — and I don't even want to know how he arranged for those — are we covering the dry cleaning or _bullet hole_ repair from those incidents?" And that was definitely a dig at their conversation from two weeks ago about Maria Fiametta shooting at Neal._ _

__"You expect him to be available by phone, but did you provide one? Or pay for the plan? He is expected to complete quantico coursework on a computer, but without internet access? I understand that you checked library books out for him, but without his own card is he able to renew them? Is he able to obtain any other books or publications required to maintain or improve the skills you are using him for? If you require him to create a forgery for a sting, will you provide the paints and canvas? Was he even provided with toiletries, shaving kit, money for a haircut — unless you are sending him undercover as a transient. Does he need glasses? I certainly don't know: do you?"_ _

__"I don't," Peter had to admit, overwhelmed by the onslaught._ _

__"You have chosen to hold a life in your hands, Burke. That is a huge responsibility, and I trust you to take better care of it from here on out."_ _

__"I will, Sir," Peter swore, a second before the line went dead._ _

____

oOo

The next morning, Peter received an email from accounting, explaining that another $15,000 had been allocated to his yearly budget. There was also another $5000 that could be drawn on in emergencies, though he would need to file receipts and justification if he touched that. Since that was only slightly more than the budget he and El had worked out last night, Peter knew exactly what to do with it. And as soon as this case was over, he and El would schlep Neal around, picking up library and transit cards, groceries, and sundries. They'd look around his radius and find him a dry cleaner, grocery store, drugstore — El was working on a list. Everything he needed to live and work here. It wasn't a lavish budget, like a conman might be used to, but it was far better than the nothing they had initially given him. Enough to — hopefully — keep him from having to resort to crime just to get by.

Even if he hadn't promised his boss, Peter owed it to Neal, who's life, he'd rightly pointed out, was in Peter's hands.

**Author's Note:**

> When Peter books the same motel in "Home Invasion", Cruz says it will cost $59. This can't be the nightly price, or a month's stay would be well over $1,700. Assuming Peter was booking a weekend, that's $30 a night, and still $900. Assuming 3 nights, that's $20 a night and just squeaks under the radar. Google shows that the cheapest _hostel_ in NYC is $33, so that 20 is pushing it, but…
> 
> Google also says the monthly food budget in NYC is roughly $450 per person, but you know El sometimes gets the fancy stuff and wine and things, so I rounded up. Parking/transit alone can run over $600 — fortunately Neal doesn't have a car! — so I figured a monthly allotment of $1,000-1,200 (not including rent, which was already covered) was reasonable.


End file.
